loPEZ Dispenser

So I finally was able to see my current favorite band in concert. I know Steve already did a review of their show a while back. He mentioned that the vocals seemed a little weak at times. Well, I must say that their time off from touring has done them some good! Their performance was spot on. Every note, every riff, and every word sung were right were they were supposed to be.

There was only one disappointing aspect of their performance. Their set was way too short. Unfortunately the were not the headliners of the night and their set was limited to about 35 minutes. I believe they played seven songs in all. We did get a sneak peak of one new song that will be one their new album. The song was called Waiting and the album, due to release this summer, will be called Singularity.

On Kiddie Bands

I have a better understanding of what Steve meant when he discussed “kiddie bands”. There we were, five twentysomething grown men, standing in line surrounded buy immature teens and youth pastors. After watching them a few minutes we really decided that it made us feel like old men.

I thought back to when I was in High School. For events such as this I would dye or paint my hair strange colors, hook up my longest and shiniest wallet chain, and wear the band shirt of my current favorite (unless it was the band playing…thats a no no). I would be down in the front right in the middle of the pit bumping and shoving all the others like me.

For this show we all retreated to the balcony. It was there we were joined by other likeminded “old” people who share our respect for the bands, reluctant fathers who would do anything to be somewhere else, and those youth group kids who were not allowed on the main floor for safety reasons. For this show I wore my special hifi earplugs to protect my hearing. There was no jumping and not even any sweating (but we did do some headbanging and air guitar…you can’t really help that). I was quite comfortable. I never thought one of my most enjoyable concerts would be described as comfortable.

I guess its because I don’t go to shows anymore to be rowdy. I go to hear the music of bands that I have come to love and respect. I’d rather watch the musicians create their art then be trapped in the middle of a crowd drenched in sweat and emitting adolescent hormones.

On Theatrics

Three bands played at the show Saturday. Mae, as described above, was awesome. Relient K, the headliners of the evening, were also excellent and entertaining. This brings me to the third band: Sherwood. They were the openers of the evening. Their music isn’t bad (although their sound was terrible at the show) so I thought they might perform a nice show. It didn’t take long to find out that they were one of those “weird” bands. This was particularly evident in their piano/keys player. He decided that it would be fun to dance while he played. Normally that wouldn’t bother me much but this guy looked like Andy Dick wearing 80’s rockers clothes (a la tight jeans) and his dancing was a cross between a ballerina and the Elaine dance from Seinfeld. Actually, I wouldn’t even call it a dance. It was more of a prance. Towards the end be blindly threw a tamborine over his head across stage and I watched as it headed directly for a piano belonging to one of the other bands. To close the show out he took a handful of sunflowers resting on his rig and started beating the keyboard with them only to again blindly throw them across the stage. Whats the point?

These theatrics seem to be popular right now. Maybe they always have been. Groups like the boy bands and solo acts like Baldy Britney and Beyonce rely on theatrics to keep the crowd entertained. Groups like Mae and Relient K rely on their talent as musicians to keep the crowd entertained. Thats what I am looking for.

After a discussion with my wife last night, I have been pondering the question:

What makes a person decide which way to mount the toilet paper on the holder?

Let’s think about it for a second. There are two ways to mount the TP on a standard holder, flap front or flap back. See the illustration below:

Naturally, since I prefer order to the universe, I ALWAYS mount the TP in the flap front configuration. This is for several reasons including ease of use and aesthetics. To me this configuration makes the most sense as well. If I am in a loo where the previous user mounted a flap back roll I am inclined to reverse the problem and flip the roll over.

So, with that said, I would like to introduce the first ever loPEZ dispenser poll:

[poll=2]

Here are some other questions to ponder:

• Would you, like me, flip a roll that you don’t think is mounted correctly?
• Is the tendency to mount in a particular way related to gender?
• Is the tendency to mount in a particular way passed down from parents to children?
• If you typically use a vertical mount TP holder (do people use these?) , do you have a preference for flap front or flap back?

Anyone who has a young child, especially a boy, will have heard of Bob the Builder. My son loves his “Bob’s Busy Toolbox” set of books. Tonight before my wife and I put him to bed I read him one of the books from the set called “Bob’s Busy Hammer.” I have read this book to my son more times than I can count, but tonight I noticed something in the book that I have never seen before. Apparently, Bob is actually a woman.

I present to you exhibit A:

This is page four of the book. Innocent enough. Bob “builds a frame around a door.” Wonderful.

I present to you exhibit B:

This is a zoomed in image of Bob from the picture above. Bob is smiling, holding his hammer. But wait…look between his legs, Bob has a vagina!

I present to you exhibit C: (Don’t let the kiddies see this one)

This is the closeup of Bob’s naughty bits. I think that he has been hanging out with Britney, Lindsay and Paris too much lately. At first I thought that this may have been an innocent mistake made by an artist. But think about it for a minute…they even colored it to look like skin.

Let me know what you think…is Bob the Builder really a woman? Have I stumbled upon something truly scandalous?

If you are interested in checking out the book in question Amazon sells Bob’s Busy Toolbox here.

Hey Everyone!!

Did you know that today is the national coming out day? In the spirit of this day I have an announcement to make.

I’ve been fighting this for several years now. The constant burden of my temptations has weighed on me greatly. I have spent many nights in dark alleys and filfthy truck stops nursing my affliction.

I’ve never mentioned this before because it is embarrasing and shameful. It goes against everything I was taught to believe as a Christian and as a man. This is a struggle that I can no longer keep in the dark. Eventually someone will find out anyways and I’d rather tell you on my terms.

Ok. Here we go. I’d like to announce…that I am… a closet Clay Aiken fan!!!!

EDITOR’S NOTE: Please take this in good spirit. I’m making fun of Clay Aiken, not those who choose to come out today…or any day for that matter.

I mean take a look at this thing!! No wonder they so often crush their own young. I would too if they looked like that…wait, I better not say that…

Seriously though, it looks like an alien from Star Wars! I’m thinking the little dude that played in Jabba the Hut’s fat rolls. I guess that guy was a little more ratty.