loPEZ Dispenser

Every year, the NFL enters into a routine of nominating their best players for an all expense paid trip to Hawaii for the Pro Bowl. Every year, the wrong people are picked. There are a bunch of reasons for this. First, the general public is allowed to vote. That means that people who don’t know anything about football are deciding which players are the best. For example, Mike Alstott was a pro bowl fullback for many years. The only problem; he’s a halfback, not a fullback. The main job of a fullback is to block for the running back. Alstott was an average blocker, but he was the main runner in the Bucs offense. Even though he was listed as a fullback, when he lined up he often had a true fullback lined up in front of him. It’s not that Alstott wasn’t a good player; he was. But he was elected by the public in a position he didn’t even play. Another reason the pro bowl vote is rarely accurate is that voting starts before the season is even half way over. How can you say a player was the best at his position after only playing half the season? I would rather they wait until the regular season is over to start the voting. The pro bowl isn’t played until February anyway.

Ok, let’s move on. First we’ll cover the misses.

Pacman Jones and Terrell Owens were not elected to the pro bowl, but Shawne Merriman was. All three are standout players at their positions. Jones is second in punt return touchdowns and is a constant threat to run an interception back for a touchdown. Owens leads all receivers in touchdowns even with the drops. Merriman lead the league in sacks. He’s a fantastic linebacker in only his second year and is a dominating force on defense. Though all three are qualified to be pro bowlers, Owens and Jones got snubbed and Merriman got in. The reason the Owens and Jones got snubbed is that they are turds when they’re not on the field. Pacman loves getting arrested, and Terrell enjoys tearing apart teams. Good. They don’t deserve to get in. But why is Merriman held to a different standard? Merriman tested positive for performance enhancing drugs and was forced to sit out 4 games because of it. He cheated. Why should he be rewarded for cheating? He gave the same old excuse that a ’suppliment’ he was taking must have had the steroid and he didn’t know about it. He even went as far as to say he was going to sue the company, but refused to name the company. Smart on his part, because had he named the company he would be opening himself up to a very large slander lawsuit. Have you ever seen a vitamin or suppliment that didn’t have the ingredients clearly listed on the label? If so, would you take it? That’s what Merriman wants us to believe. Testing positive for performance enhancing drugs should invalidate you for any individual awards or post season accolades. Recently Jason Taylor and Champ Bailey have echoed this statement, and Taylor won defensive player of the year.

Mack Strong - Shaun Alexander’s yards per carry went from 5.1 last year to 3.4 this year. If you compare games from this year and last year, it’s easy to see why Alexander was so successful last year and so mediocre this year. Last year, Alexander wasn’t touched until he reached the secondary. This year, he’s getting tackled by linebackers. Sure the loss of Steve Hutchinson has a LOT to do with that, probably more than Mack Strong. But Strong has also regressed since last season. He is missing blocks and getting blown up by defenders. Strong is good, but there are better fullbacks out there that deserve it more. Like Justin Griffith who blocks for the best rushing game in football in Atlanta, and rose to the challenge when injuries caused him to take the RB reigns last week. He has averaged 5.6 yards per carry this season, and has four total touchdowns.

Kellen Winslow - Granted, he doesn’t have the name recognition of Antonio Gates or Tony Gonzalez, but he lead NFL TE in catches, and was only 2nd behind Jeremy Shockey for idiotic outbursts. He’s a gung-ho player that can’t seem to focus his angst. While his production does make a great case for him being in the pro bowl, his motorcycle riding cost him a lot of respect from those who cast the ballots. I expect to see him on the list next year though.

Willie Parker. Willie Parker?!? Yeah, he had a good year, but it wasn’t outstanding. I can’t think of another AFC runner that did a lot better, so lets take the 3rd AFC RB slot away and give it to Winslow at TE .

Tony Romo - Ok, he won some games against mediocre and poor competition. But when your own coach says you’re not that good, maybe you don’t deserve to be a pro bowler. Clearly his popularity was affected by the false rumors of his dealings with Jessica Simpson. Jeff Garcia had a much better half season than Tony Romo.

Troy Polamalu - This is purely a name and hair recognition vote. He had a very sub par year, and was not worthy of the votes he got. He didn’t break the AFC top 25 for tackles, sacks, or INT’s. Not to mention how many games he missed due to injury. Ok, there were 3 of them and I just mentioned them, but they had to be mentioned.

Now lets see what they got right.

Michael Vick not getting in - This guy is not a QB. It was a travesty that he got in last year completing only 55% of his passes for a paltry 15 touchdowns and 13 interceptions. “But he ran for 1000 yards this year”, I hear you saying. Great. Let him try to make the pro bowl as a running back then. This guy is NOT a leader, has no respect for authority, got his coach fired, and flicked off his own fans. He has no business getting a free trip to Hawaii, or being a QB in this league. Ron Mexico doesn’t deserve to be in the NFL.

Tom Brady got Snubbed - I don’t know if I’d even call it getting snubbed. The 3 guys that beat him; Manning, Palmer, and Rivers certainly deserved to be there. You could argue that he may have beat out Rivers, but I’d tell you that Rivers threw fewer interceptions, was more accurate, and had a higher QB rating. Rivers just deserved it more than Brady this year. And don’t tell me it’s because Brady didn’t have the receivers… lets see you name the starting receivers of the Chargers…

Brett Favre was left out - He had the 4th most yards, and refuses to be injured. Other than that he was mediocre. He threw 18 TD’s and 18 INT’s. He led the league in attempts, but didn’t come close to the lead in completions. ‘Everyone wants to see him in because this is his last season.’ That’s what they said last season, and that’s what they’ll say next season too.

Frank Gore - This guy came out of nowhere. He was almost a forgotten player playing for a crappy team. More than anyone else on the 49ers, this guy fought for them. He ended up leading the NFC in rushing yards despite the fact that he plays for a lousy offense with a mediocre line.