loPEZ Dispenser

Ok, I got this from Drudge but here it goes. Sheryl Crow and her friend Laurie David, an environmentalist, have been traveling across the country on a two-week Stop Global Warming College Tour. As they drive around in their biodiesel bus they ponder the question:

What practical steps can we take to lessen our impact on the environment?

In their “Biodiesel Bus Blog” they have given us some of their ideas. I will address three of them.

Idea 1: Only one square…

Crow stated:

“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.”

I don’t know how many squares are required for girls but I am glad that I pee standing up. I would propose that for a more “messy” trip to the Loo, three squares just won’t cut it!! The savings in TP would be dwarfed by the additional cost of laundering all the skid marks left in people’s underoos.

Idea 2: Napkin sleeves…
Crow’s creative juices must have been flowing because on the same day she stated:

“I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what’s called a “dining sleeve.” The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another “dining sleeve,” after usage. The design will offer the “diner” the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.”

I can’t quite figure out if this is meant to be tongue-in-cheek or not. It sounds like it should be but for my purposes lets just assume that she is serious.

First of all, how is this any different than using a cloth napkin in a fancy restaurant? Again, I think that the cost in energy and water of washing the “dining sleeves” would outweigh the use of paper napkins (maybe I’m wrong, I should find some statistics). On top of that, isn’t it drilled in us from childhood not to wipe our mouths and noses on our sleeves? Plus, what if it is cold out? I need my sleeves to keep warm. Plus, I don’t think short sleeve shirts offer enough coverage area to be useful as a napkin.

Finally, my biggest problem is the whole detachable sleeves issue. I had one pair of those pants where you could zip off the legs and they would be shorts. Well after like 2 months one of the legs was eaten by the washing machine never to be seen again. So now I have a pair of pants with only one leg so they were useful only as shorts or if I wanted to look like a hoodlum.

Idea 3: A reality show…

In her best idea yet she proposed something revolutionary:

“This next idea I have been saving but I will share it with you if you promise not to steal it. It is my latest, very exciting idea for creating incentive for us all to minimize our own personal carbon footprints. It’s a reality show. (I feel pretty certain NO ONE has thought of this yet!) Here is the premise: the contest consists of 10 people who are competing for the top spot as the person who lives the “greenest” life. This will be reflected in the contestant’s home, his business, and his own personal living style. The winner of this challenging, prestigious, contest would receive what??. . . . a recording contract!!!!!”

I don’t even know where to start. Are reality shows still popular? Sheryl, there is a reason that nobody has thought of this. Its stupid!! For that reason alone it will be picked up by network TV. I can’t think of anything more boring than this. The topper is the prize. A recording contract is only valuable to musicians. So does that limit the shows contestants to only those who could use a recording contract? A contract that could lead to mainstream success? Large concerts? World tours? Yes, those things are all very green….

I saw this article on Drudge. Some scientists are saying that Global Warming may be producing wind shears which tear major storm systems apart. What does this mean? It means that instead of so called “Global Warming” contributing to the Atlantic hurricane season it will actually make it harder for these monster storms to develop.

How do you like them apples!!

Why oh why must we embarrass ourselves? In the same spirit as this article I wrote a while back the Christians have gone and done it again. I would like to introduce to you GodTube, a Youtube for Christians with the tagline “Broadcast Him”.

Again, I will say that I believe we need to do everything we can to spread the Word of God to the world, but this stinks of cheese from 20 miles away. In addition, I don’t think that this is a place that non-Christians would visit. Maybe I’m wrong. To me this is like a Christian tree house and its a “safe” place where you can catch reruns of “Flying House” and “McGee and Me” (yes I did watch those as a wee one). I guess the new one is Veggie Tales…