loPEZ Dispenser

…to our very own PEZhead Joe Williams. He is 25 today. Have a good one.

After a discussion with my wife last night, I have been pondering the question:

What makes a person decide which way to mount the toilet paper on the holder?

Let’s think about it for a second. There are two ways to mount the TP on a standard holder, flap front or flap back. See the illustration below:

Naturally, since I prefer order to the universe, I ALWAYS mount the TP in the flap front configuration. This is for several reasons including ease of use and aesthetics. To me this configuration makes the most sense as well. If I am in a loo where the previous user mounted a flap back roll I am inclined to reverse the problem and flip the roll over.

So, with that said, I would like to introduce the first ever loPEZ dispenser poll:

[poll=2]

Here are some other questions to ponder:

• Would you, like me, flip a roll that you don’t think is mounted correctly?
• Is the tendency to mount in a particular way related to gender?
• Is the tendency to mount in a particular way passed down from parents to children?
• If you typically use a vertical mount TP holder (do people use these?) , do you have a preference for flap front or flap back?

UPDATE: 6/26/07

Alright, since Friday is the hotly anticipated debut of the iPhone, I thought it would be poetic to resurrect this post from six months ago.

As the Mac elitists salivate over what could be their next very expensive gadget I will watch and wait. I’m thinking the touch controls might not be as intuitive as described. I’m thinking people will get irritated by all the fingerprints, smudges, and makeup residue (for the ladies of course) all over their pretty machine. I’m thinking people will soon realize that surfing the web from a phone is not “fun” but it is tiresome and really only useful in a pinch. I’m thinking that smart phone users won’t really find the usefulness of the device to be any greater than what they are used to.

Then again, anyone crazy enough to drop five or six hundred dollars on a phone without a thought would be in denial about it. Not only that, but it is the first generation and everyone knows that its best not to buy a first generation electronic device (especially with Apple since they tend to make their own products obsolete very quickly). Nevertheless, Mac fanatics will stand behind their product whether they truly love it or not.

Huh, here is a first review…

——————————————————————–
Original Post:

Alright. I want to make this rant really quick. Yesterday was the MACWORLD conference where Steve Jobs introduces all the new products that Mac will be introducing this year. The media is going nuts over the new iPhone and iTV (there was even a website giving minute by minute updates on the conference). The hype is so hot that Mac shares went up like 8% in one day. I say so what.

In 2001, when Mac introduced the 1st Gen iPod to the world I had the same reaction. I already had an mp3 player. It was made by a company called iRiver. Comparing apples to apples my iRiver beat out the iPod in every category except one…looks. A couple years later I upgraded to a new hard drive based iRiver, the H300. My H300 is awesome. It plays many formats of music, shows pictures and videos, has a built in mic and line inputs for recording, has FM radio, text reader and more. Again, my H300 easily beat out the iPod for features (but not looks). Then Mac released the photo iPod and then the video iPod and the features still don’t match what my now discontinued H300 can do. So what’s my point?

Mac is not as revolutionary as they claim to be. What makes them dominate is that their products look nice, have good interfaces, and they use incredibly clever marketing tactics. Mac people will counter and say, but the iPod is so popular because of iTunes. Well, I read some stats about iTunes. It was something about if you take the total number of songs and divide it by the number of iPods it averages out to like five songs sold per iPod. So that couldn’t possibly be the selling point. Additionally, the fact that Mac uses proprietary DRM technology (via AAC files) will come to haunt them later on (that is a discussion for another day).

Well this post isn’t about the iPod. It’s about the two new “revolutionary” products Mac has now developed. Let’s start with the iTV. This is a set-top box that allows you to view photos, movies and music that are hosted on your computer on your TV. You also have the ability to pull down content directly off of the Mac websites. The iTV has a built in 40 GB hard drive and integrated 802.11 wireless capabilities. I say SO WHAT!!

I have had my Series 2 TiVo now for 2.5 years. TiVo in general has been around much longer. My TiVo can do all this and more!! I can view my pictures and music, look at weather, buy movie tickets, download podcasts, play games, check email, get exclusive content, transfer video to/from my PC, all that the iTV has to offer. PLUS ITS A TIVO TOO!! I can record TV. Can you do that iTV? If I need to see video that my TiVo can’t handle, I simply hook my laptop up to the TV and Viola!! Additionally, if you happen to have a modded Xbox all these features are also at your finger tips. My point is that the concept of iTV is nothing new to the informed.

Now on to the iPhone. I gotta admit, at first this thing sounded awesome. Actually, the look and user interface (UI) do sound really cool. I am intrigued by the newly developed “multi-touch” technology that the touch screen uses. Anyways, this thing does it all. It’s like an iPod, PDA, web browser, and phone all in one. It can do the music, photos and video. It can control your email and calendar. It’s a cell phone. It has a built in web browser that can surf all pages, not just mobile web pages. It can piggy-back onto Wifi networks. There will be two models released. One with 4 GB of flash memory ($500) and one with 8 GB of flash memory ($600). Again, SO WHAT!!

My Moto Razr plays songs, takes pictures, downloads video, has a calendar, can surf the web, has built in GPS and navigation, can check email, etc. Take a step up to a Treo, Moto Q, or other equivalent smart phone. These all have the same features as the iPhone. So why is the iPhone so “revolutionary”? Jobs claimed that this will replace the need for multiple devices being carried around at the same time. Really Steve? Do you honestly think that somebody who is used to carrying around your 80 GB video iPod will be satisfied with a device that only holds 8 GB? I hardly think so. I don’t always need my mp3 player. I don’t always need my email. Sometimes I just want my phone. Sometimes I just want my iRiver. I like my devices separate.

On top of that, Mac made a critical mistake by signing an exclusive partnership with Cingular Wireless to be the provider. I believe that according to consumer reports Cingular is generally regarded as the countries worst wireless provider. Additionally, Cingular’s broadband network, EDGE, maxes out download speeds at 80k which pales in comparison to Verizon’s EVDO service (EDGE does have the best nationwide coverage at this point). So if you are planning on visiting graphics rich web pages, you better hope that you are in range of a Wifi network.

I don’t mean to poop on Mac (yes I do) but I just don’t see what the big deal is. Discuss away…

PS. I guess this wasn’t a quick rant…

Every year, the NFL enters into a routine of nominating their best players for an all expense paid trip to Hawaii for the Pro Bowl. Every year, the wrong people are picked. There are a bunch of reasons for this. First, the general public is allowed to vote. That means that people who don’t know anything about football are deciding which players are the best. For example, Mike Alstott was a pro bowl fullback for many years. The only problem; he’s a halfback, not a fullback. The main job of a fullback is to block for the running back. Alstott was an average blocker, but he was the main runner in the Bucs offense. Even though he was listed as a fullback, when he lined up he often had a true fullback lined up in front of him. It’s not that Alstott wasn’t a good player; he was. But he was elected by the public in a position he didn’t even play. Another reason the pro bowl vote is rarely accurate is that voting starts before the season is even half way over. How can you say a player was the best at his position after only playing half the season? I would rather they wait until the regular season is over to start the voting. The pro bowl isn’t played until February anyway.

Ok, let’s move on. First we’ll cover the misses.

Pacman Jones and Terrell Owens were not elected to the pro bowl, but Shawne Merriman was. All three are standout players at their positions. Jones is second in punt return touchdowns and is a constant threat to run an interception back for a touchdown. Owens leads all receivers in touchdowns even with the drops. Merriman lead the league in sacks. He’s a fantastic linebacker in only his second year and is a dominating force on defense. Though all three are qualified to be pro bowlers, Owens and Jones got snubbed and Merriman got in. The reason the Owens and Jones got snubbed is that they are turds when they’re not on the field. Pacman loves getting arrested, and Terrell enjoys tearing apart teams. Good. They don’t deserve to get in. But why is Merriman held to a different standard? Merriman tested positive for performance enhancing drugs and was forced to sit out 4 games because of it. He cheated. Why should he be rewarded for cheating? He gave the same old excuse that a ’suppliment’ he was taking must have had the steroid and he didn’t know about it. He even went as far as to say he was going to sue the company, but refused to name the company. Smart on his part, because had he named the company he would be opening himself up to a very large slander lawsuit. Have you ever seen a vitamin or suppliment that didn’t have the ingredients clearly listed on the label? If so, would you take it? That’s what Merriman wants us to believe. Testing positive for performance enhancing drugs should invalidate you for any individual awards or post season accolades. Recently Jason Taylor and Champ Bailey have echoed this statement, and Taylor won defensive player of the year.

Mack Strong - Shaun Alexander’s yards per carry went from 5.1 last year to 3.4 this year. If you compare games from this year and last year, it’s easy to see why Alexander was so successful last year and so mediocre this year. Last year, Alexander wasn’t touched until he reached the secondary. This year, he’s getting tackled by linebackers. Sure the loss of Steve Hutchinson has a LOT to do with that, probably more than Mack Strong. But Strong has also regressed since last season. He is missing blocks and getting blown up by defenders. Strong is good, but there are better fullbacks out there that deserve it more. Like Justin Griffith who blocks for the best rushing game in football in Atlanta, and rose to the challenge when injuries caused him to take the RB reigns last week. He has averaged 5.6 yards per carry this season, and has four total touchdowns.

Kellen Winslow - Granted, he doesn’t have the name recognition of Antonio Gates or Tony Gonzalez, but he lead NFL TE in catches, and was only 2nd behind Jeremy Shockey for idiotic outbursts. He’s a gung-ho player that can’t seem to focus his angst. While his production does make a great case for him being in the pro bowl, his motorcycle riding cost him a lot of respect from those who cast the ballots. I expect to see him on the list next year though.

Willie Parker. Willie Parker?!? Yeah, he had a good year, but it wasn’t outstanding. I can’t think of another AFC runner that did a lot better, so lets take the 3rd AFC RB slot away and give it to Winslow at TE .

Tony Romo - Ok, he won some games against mediocre and poor competition. But when your own coach says you’re not that good, maybe you don’t deserve to be a pro bowler. Clearly his popularity was affected by the false rumors of his dealings with Jessica Simpson. Jeff Garcia had a much better half season than Tony Romo.

Troy Polamalu - This is purely a name and hair recognition vote. He had a very sub par year, and was not worthy of the votes he got. He didn’t break the AFC top 25 for tackles, sacks, or INT’s. Not to mention how many games he missed due to injury. Ok, there were 3 of them and I just mentioned them, but they had to be mentioned.

Now lets see what they got right.

Michael Vick not getting in - This guy is not a QB. It was a travesty that he got in last year completing only 55% of his passes for a paltry 15 touchdowns and 13 interceptions. “But he ran for 1000 yards this year”, I hear you saying. Great. Let him try to make the pro bowl as a running back then. This guy is NOT a leader, has no respect for authority, got his coach fired, and flicked off his own fans. He has no business getting a free trip to Hawaii, or being a QB in this league. Ron Mexico doesn’t deserve to be in the NFL.

Tom Brady got Snubbed - I don’t know if I’d even call it getting snubbed. The 3 guys that beat him; Manning, Palmer, and Rivers certainly deserved to be there. You could argue that he may have beat out Rivers, but I’d tell you that Rivers threw fewer interceptions, was more accurate, and had a higher QB rating. Rivers just deserved it more than Brady this year. And don’t tell me it’s because Brady didn’t have the receivers… lets see you name the starting receivers of the Chargers…

Brett Favre was left out - He had the 4th most yards, and refuses to be injured. Other than that he was mediocre. He threw 18 TD’s and 18 INT’s. He led the league in attempts, but didn’t come close to the lead in completions. ‘Everyone wants to see him in because this is his last season.’ That’s what they said last season, and that’s what they’ll say next season too.

Frank Gore - This guy came out of nowhere. He was almost a forgotten player playing for a crappy team. More than anyone else on the 49ers, this guy fought for them. He ended up leading the NFC in rushing yards despite the fact that he plays for a lousy offense with a mediocre line.

Ok, we are all really happy that the democrats took control of congress (can you sense my sarcasm here?). Yesterday the new congress convened and Nancy Pelosi was installed as the new Speaker of the House. This is historic in that she is the first female to be this close to the presidency (2nd in succession).

Before November I never even knew who this lady was. Recent remarks she has made, however, make me shiver with the creepy, eerie feeling of fear. No longer does Hilary Clinton top my list of overly aggressive, power hungry, female politicians. Why do I feel this way? Well it’s simple statements she has make recently.

First of all, she called herself “the most powerful woman in America”. Then she continues by saying “In more than 200 years of history, there was an established pecking order — and I cut in line.” What does that even mean? Who did you cut in front of? Do you think you’re special cause you’re Speaker?

To me, that sounds more like the ramblings of a dictator rather than a civil SERVANT. Democrats are basking in this new found control of congress but need I remind you that it is pretty even (only a few seats majority) and we still control the White House. I just don’t see what all the hype is about. Then again, I am just a corrupt, hypocritical, right-wing advocate, right?

Well Mrs. Pelosi, I have some words for you. You claim to be the “most powerful woman in America” but I say to you now that Oprah wields more power over the American public you ever will. She has more influence over the will of people and the desires of people than any politician can.